Do you ever get those moments that stop you in your tracks? When you start thinking about a parenting situation or event to such a ridiculously far fetched point and yet lose all sense of reality? You become utterly convinced it might happen.
So what are the utterly absurd things that I start thinking about, then lose five minutes of my life totally absorbed in fretting over? The things that make me truly doubt my parenting skills?
1) H will never be out of nappies.
He will be 3 in January. We do keep delicately encouraging but he is violently opposed to potty training. This has now led me to believe that he will be one of this kids you read about in a Daily Mail horror piece about teachers having to change nappies on 8 year olds.
Yes yes I know this is unlikely, but seriously – time keeps creeping by and he keeps saying NO!!!!!! each time the “P” word is raised.
Sometimes I wonder he’ll become one of those 40-year-old who like wearing nappies……
2) H will never stop using a dummy
Like with the above, he’s nearly 3. It’s not going anywhere. Sometimes I feel like I’m engaging in a fight to the death with a great white shark each time I attempt to pull it from his clamped shut jaws.
Yes we know about the dummy fairy, I’ll get her to work as soon as the great white releases my hand from his jaws.
3) We will never have a lie in again
H wakes at 5.30am nearly every morning. During the week that’s fine, that’s when we have to get up for work. But at the weekend, oh how I would kill to sleep till 7am. Yes 7am is now a lie in to me.
Seriously, what have I become??
More seriously, will I ever be able to lounge in bed until 10am ever again?
4) Something I say or do will make H a serial killer.
Ever read “We Need to Talk About Kevin”? It’s enough to make your ovaries shrivel up like raisins and run for the hills.
5) He will never grow
I am short. The hub isn’t the tallest. Yet everyone seems baffled that our child is not some sort of toddler version of Peter Crouch. Yet no matter how much I know he’s totally normal and fine, people’s “helpful” comments can’t help but make you obsess when they say it enough.
Anyone else have any ridiculous and irrational parenting fears?